The Tweener

POWER SQUATS: They do a body good. 

A lot of ink gets spilled (just kidding, no one writes with pens anymore because internetz!) over Djokovic’s ridiculous shotmaking. The way he spanked a forehand winner match point down against Federer at the US Open in 2011, for example. 

But during the Aussie Open finals, even when he was down a set and three break points to Murray, I never thought he was out of it. I fully expected him to come back, simply for the reason that while his shots weren’t landing, he wasn’t overplaying. 

If anything it looked like he was biding his time, like he knew he would only get better as the match progressed.

At Nole’s best, he makes the game look metronomic, all his forehands and backhands crisply struck and rhythmic. Not a shot wasted, no movement made out of turn. 

Compare this with some of the flashier but much less accomplished players in the game (I’m looking at you, Monfils and Gasquet!), and their tennis starts to look silly, contrived—masturbatory. 

Novak thankfully lacks all of these flourishes.

Some folks would argue that’s a bad thing, that Djokovic’s baseline harmonics don’t compare to the improvisational brilliance of Federer in his prime, or Nadal’s ruthless athleticism on the clay. 

I think there’s a place for each of these styles but don’t take it from me. Take it from the top players. Djokovic has the Aussie Open while Nadal holds the French, Federer Wimbledon and Murray the US Open. 

It’s unfortunate that the final with Murray couldn’t match last year’s five hour 53 minute forced march of a match, or the giddy level of play Nadal reached in 2009. Even so, there is something appealing about watching someone go about his business at the height of his career, swatting aside his greatest rivals on his favorite court.

Hell, it’s why we watched Federer for all those years.

And though the Djokovic-Murray rivalry hasn’t hit the dizzying heights of Nadal-Federer or McEnroe-Borg, it’s still worth watching because both of them are evolving how to play on the tour today, both of them play unbelievable offense and defense, and yes, both of them are pretty rad fellows in their own right. (I mean, Murray is this pale wonder of the world. How does he stay so damn white in the sun all day?!)

But this post is really about Djokovic. If there were any question after his titanic fifth set win over Wawrinka in the fourth round, it’s been answered. 

He’s still master of his domain.

And with that, I’m going to sleep forever. 

Oh I just love this so so so so much. Drama, the men bring it too. 

Also, Fed pretty much crapped out of this match in the fifth. It was his 10 straight set in two days, which I’m sure was a big factor for the 31yo, even if said 31yo moves like a ballerino. 

That said, Andy played great in the final set, was aggressive when he needed to be and was a wall whenever Fed tried to step into the court.

Fed was walking a very fine line for most of the match. He had to be aggressive, especially as the match wore on, but to hit those shots he needed to be perfectly set and he wasn’t for the most part. 

Anyways, Djok probably would have crushed him in the final so there’s that. Here’s hoping Andy/Nole round 18 is a great one, and that my sleep cycle isn’t irretrievably fuckalled. 

Thank the lawd for these two. Slugging it out in the last match of the year. 

Hi there! Guess what time it is?

Well, not that time. Though healthcare’s pretty cool too, I hear.

It’s time for Miguel’s favorite tennis items from the summer! And there’s a bonus too! Because I’m such a positive person I’ve included my least favorite tennis things this summer! 

So. Favorites:

1. Novak Djokovic’s uber-tight shorts:

Fly, Falcon, fly. 

2. 18 year old British prodigy Laura Robson getting the silver in Mixed Doubles with Andy Murray:

YOU GUISE ARE ADORKABLE

3. And of course, Muzzah taking the GOLD on his home court! (Honorable mention: his awesome mum, Judy Murray):

That AP caption is brilliant. Hard to relax: Judy’s debut EP.

4. Hockey sensation Alex Ovechkin being a good little HAB (Husband and/or Boyfriend to you non-Brits) to Maria Kirilenko as she won the bronze in London:

5. Maria winning the French Open to claim the career Grand Slam, becoming only the 6th woman to do so in the Open Era:

Masha. Like a swan, like a PIMP.

6. Everything about that Federer-Del Potro Olympics semifinal except that Del Potro had to lose (thank god he won the bronze):

7. Sabine Lisicki beasting on grass (Except for when she beat Maria at Wimbledon. That gave me a sadz.)

6. Real Fucking Talk Time: Serena showing the world how to crip walk > Gabby teaching the world how to dougie:

7. Donald Young finally won a match again! And sorry Leonardo Mayer, you lost to a dude with a 17 match losing streak. That’s gotta suck ostrich eggs.

8. The career resurgence of Tommy Haas, because just look at the man:

8. The return of Petkorazzi! An Andrea Petkovic primer is in order here. And this of course:

9. Lastly, props to Federer for winning a record 17th Grand Slam at Wimbledon and shutting up critics yet again who said he was dead in the water. It’s scary to think that he’s got an outside shot at the big 2-0. 

Ok, deep breath. Time for the summer shit list:

1. Nadal’s damn knees. I WANT THESE MUTHAFUCKIN’ KNEES OFF THE MUTHAFUCKIN’ RAFA. Hobbled again by his knees (due to Hoffa Syndrome), Rafa had to withdraw from the Olympics and the US Open after his shock loss to Lukas Rosol at Wimbledon. His doctor says it’s not too serious, and I truly believe he’ll be fine in the long run. But yeah, the US Open is not the same without him:

2. Nalbandian kicking line judges:

Bad Nalby! Also, fun fact: David Nalbandian hasn’t won a match since he kicked the dude. Karma’s a shin-bruised bitch, Dave.

3. It must be said. Gawker is completely on point with its takedown of Maria’s new candy venture, Sugarpova. Pray tell Masha, why does it cost $14 for a bag of gummy bears?

4. Caroline Wozniacki’s new serve. I couldn’t find any pictures of this awful awful service motion so I’ve just included a GIF of Elaine dancing because the same weird shit with the legs happens in both motions:

5. Ana Ivanovic continuing to toil away with lackluster results. Following her career post-French Open win has given me such expectations whiplash. One day she’ll beat a top 15 player convincingly, the next she’ll lose to someone outside of the top 60. The only consistency is that there is none. But damn, she’s still got one of the best forehands. Le sigh..

6. Everything about this picture of Fernando Verdasco (That’s FeVer if you’re nasty.)

7. The husband-killing 70 year old tennis umpire, Lois Goodman, who bludgeoned her 80 year old husband with a coffee mug until that shattered, whereupon she stabbed him with the fragments. She’s in a Manhattan jail now because she flew out to NYC to officiate the US Open after murdering him, which bring a new and morbid focus to the cliche “dedication to one’s job.”

8. And since I don’t want to end this post on such a downer, I’ll go with something we can all agree on. Rain. Sucks.

Ughhhhhhh, the rain seemed to follow the tour on its North American circuit from Toronto, Montreal, Cincinnati and now Winston-Salem.

9. Which brings me to the last point: THE US OPEN HAS NO ROOF. THERE IS NO ROOF TO LET THIS MOTHER BURN OR PLAY MATCHES ON TIME. 

Which means we’ll probably have another men’s final on Monday, which does nothing to promote the sport in the most lucrative TV market in the world. To sum up:

Be back soon with US Open thoughts!

Del Potro, Murray and Federer. Three of my favorites. It’s enough to make this boy’s ovaries burst. 

Aaaanyways

Just two days after Federer beat Del Potro 19-17 in the third in 4 1/2 hours to make it to the gold medal match, Murray put Federer in the woodchipper, Fargo-style: 6-2, 6-1, 6-4.

It was so comprehensive that I couldn’t help but think of Serena dismantling Sharapova just a day before. The score of the latest mollywhop? Er, I mean match: 6-0, 6-1.

Don’t think I forgot about you, Emopova.

But back to Federer, why did he lose so badly to Murray just one month after beating him in the Wimbledon final? Was it because:

(a) He was a step too slow to the ball after a physically and emotionally draining tussle with Del Potro. 

(b) Murray served obscenely well, especially on his traditionally suspect second serve, a shot he landed deep throughout the match. 

(c) Anna Wintour wasn’t there to support her man with her sphinx/sloth-like gaze. 

(d) The British fans were awesome, and by awesome I mean drunk and rowdy as hell. 

(e) Murray’s legs have never been thicker. Excuse me while I go dry myself off. (AND YES I KNOW HE’S PASTY AS HELL. I DUN CARE!)

(f) Andy played well enough to beat anyone. While his backhand is always money, he also hit his forehand aggressively, volleyed well, and destroyed Federer’s second serve. 

(g) Speaking of which, Federer did little to pressure Murray on his serve. Murray won more than half of his second serve points, and saved all nine of the break points he faced. 

(h) Speaking of which, REALLY ROGER?! Nine break points and you can’t convert one? There’s shooting yourself in the foot, and then there’s grabbing the Beretta and shoving it down your own throat. We’ve seen this when he plays Nadal, which is more understandable since Nadal can swing his lefty serve out wide and crunch his big forehand into Fed’s weaker backhand corner. 

(i) Speaking of which, why am I bringing Nadal into this? Probably because it’s about time to include Murray in the same breath as perennial Grand Slam contenders like Nadal and Djokovic. He played that well all tournament. I’m not saying he’s on their level career-wise. I’m saying he’s playing with a mountain of confidence, is in the best shape of his life, and he’s now got the big match monkey off his back. 

So why did Federer lose? 

(j) All of the above.

Especially the absence of Anna Wintour. Surely a Jedi like Federer could feel that disturbance in the force. 

I tried to find the most unflattering picture of Roger winning, because no one gets a free pass on this blog.

But seriously, Roger withstood two of the best sets of tennis I’ve ever seen Andy Murray (who will heretofore be known affectionately as Muzz or Muzzah) play. Once the roof closed Federer played more aggressively in coming back to win his seventh Wimbledon, 17th Grand Slam, BAMFery, etc. 

And while I’mma let you finish, Roger, I really just want to talk about Muzzah. 

I could talk about how aggressive Muzz was with his forehand, how he came out so confidently at the beginning, even with the weight of a nation on his shoulders. I could talk about his sweet his two-hander was, how with his wonderful slice backhand and his refusal to hit the same shot twice, he is the natural successor to Federer’s all-court artistry. 

But naaaaaah, I don’t want to talk about that. It’s all there if you watch(ed) the match. I want to talk about how difficult it was to see Andy struggle through his post-match interview in front of thousands of disappointed fans, and how glad I am that I stuck around to watch the whole thing, even though I started crying too. Despite his voice breaking several times, he still managed to display that droll British wit, quipping “I’m getting closer!” before going on to thank his entourage and family (who were also in tears), and all the fans who supported him.

Muzzah’s been criticized for just about everything throughout his career: his defensive game, his mopey demeanor on court, his facial hair (Muzz fuzz, it be, wild as the Scottish moors). Speaking of Scotland, he’s been criticized for being proud of being Scottish, for fuck’s sake.

Most of all, he’s been criticized for not having what it takes to win the big ones, for his heart. I hope his performance during this final and his outpouring of emotion afterwards shuts those naysayers up. If the British tabloids are any indication, they have.

Cheers, Andy. You’ll win one. I have no doubt. You have a cagey game that pisses opponents off to no end, but more important, we all got to see what this sport means to you, and how you aren’t embarrassed to hide your emotions. That’s awesome. And in the meantime, I would like to know how much awesome it takes to become your mum:

Two-handed fistpumps. FEELING IT. 

So that happened.

YUP. This is the badly cropped picture you get for losing.

Sabine Lisicki played the match of her life to knock Maria Sharapova out of Wimbledon today. Honestly, what isn’t surprising is the result itself. (Maria hasn’t played a solid match start to finish since she won the French.) It’s the seeming ease with which Sabine won. Hell, it could have been even more one-sided than the 6-4 6-3 result indicates as Maria stormed back in the first set from 1-4 down to get back on serve at 4-5. Then for whatever reason (oh I know, erratic serving!) she couldn’t put away the game and Sabine won four straight points to close out the set. 

To Sabine’s credit, she kept swinging for the fences in the second set after the rain delay, when everyone thought Maria would come out with her game cleaned up. And in the final game, when Maria saved two match points with some solid defense, you had to think that Lisicki, who’s bottled matches in the past, would crack under the pressure. Instead she cracked a second serve ace for the biggest win of her life. 

So the trend of the WTA’s latest slam winner struggling in the next major continues. And so we’ll hear more about how the WTA is a mess, with no one able to dominate. Please. It’s a tired argument, it’s boring and it reeks of sexism. Three strikes.

In 2003, when Federer won Wimbledon for the first time and became the 7th different man to win at the past seven slams, little was said about the turmoil at the top of the game, only that Fed had inherited Pete Sampras’ mantle. Petra Kvitova wins at Wimbledon and the discussion turns to Maria’s inconsistent serve, whether Petra can steel herself for the coming months, and not the young Czech’s promising future. 

So back to today’s match: let’s applaud Lisicki for playing the match of her life. For not losing her nerves. For being brave (or damn near stubborn) enough to go for broke on match point with her serve. And if she loses in the next round, for the love of god don’t criticize women’s tennis. Hate the player, don’t hate the game (see what I did there?). And remember: 

The ATP does it too!